Alice
by Lylah Korsu
Model: Kayla Wiley
Photography by Matthew Lin
Hair & Makeup by Dani Arranka
In Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Alice falls down a rabbit hole into a strange, disorienting world. But for many women today, this "rabbit hole" takes on a more painful and pervasive meaning — it symbolizes the journey into a world where they are objectified, reduced to their appearance, and pressured to conform to societal standards that cater to male desire. The rabbit hole is the metaphorical space where women are taught to lose themselves, to become objects to be looked at, evaluated, and ultimately controlled by the forces of patriarchy.
The experience of being objectified — and at times, internalizing that objectification — can feel like an inescapable part of modern life. From social media to advertisements, to the dynamics of relationships, many women are conditioned to seek external validation, often sacrificing their true selves in the process. But just as Alice found her way out of Wonderland by questioning the rules of the strange world she found herself in, women today can also find their way out of the metaphorical "Wonderland" of objectification by learning to reclaim their sense of self and stand up for their worth.
This social conditioning creates a painful paradox: women are told to be confident, independent, and strong, but they are also bombarded with messages that they need to conform to specific standards of beauty, behavior, and sexuality. This dual pressure often leads to confusion about who they are and what they truly want versus what society expects from them.
Like Alice, who falls into a world where nothing makes sense and every rule seems arbitrary, women in the patriarchy often feel like they're in a maze of contradictory demands. They are encouraged to embrace their "power" by being sexually appealing or likable, but at the same time, they’re told to be modest, controlled, and restrained. The more women try to navigate this world by fitting in or pleasing others, the more they lose sight of their true selves — as Alice's journey shows, the deeper she goes into Wonderland, the further she strays from who she really is.
This is where the problem lies: when women are taught to objectify themselves to gain validation, they stop truly living as themselves, and instead, start performing for the approval of others. They sacrifice their authenticity in exchange for acceptance. The beauty of who they truly are, inside and out, becomes secondary to external expectations and the male gaze.
The Rabbit Hole: Objectification in a Patriarchy
Objectification happens when a person, usually a woman, is reduced to their physical appearance, body, or sexual function, often to fulfill someone else’s desires or expectations. In a patriarchal society, women are constantly bombarded with messages telling them that their value is contingent on how they look or how pleasing they are to men. Whether it’s through the lens of media, beauty standards, or the expectations set within romantic relationships, women are taught to prioritize external approval over their internal sense of self.
The Danger of Internalizing the Gaze
The pressure to objectify oneself isn't just an external force. Over time, these messages become internalized. Women may begin to look at themselves the way society does — through a critical, evaluative lens that places their worth in their appearance or in how desirable they are to men. When this happens, women begin to live their lives from a place of insecurity and self-doubt, instead of from a place of self-empowerment and authenticity.
Take, for example, social media. Platforms like Instagram have turned personal expression into a performance, with "likes" and comments serving as the currency of validation. In this digital Wonderland, women — often unknowingly — become more concerned with how they are perceived by others than with how they feel about themselves. They might adjust their photos, outfits, or behavior to gain approval, to be seen as "enough" in the eyes of others. In a culture where appearance often trumps authenticity, many women find themselves lost in a maze of self-doubt, constantly questioning their value based on external measures.
This cycle of objectification and self-objectification doesn’t just harm women; it also harms men by reinforcing narrow, unrealistic standards of beauty, behavior, and relationships. It places a pressure on men to see women not for their complex humanity but through the lens of shallow attraction. This creates a disconnection, not only between men and women, but also within each individual, as they are forced to live out an inauthentic version of themselves to meet these artificial standards.
Escaping Wonderland: Rediscovering Your True Self
So, how do women — and, by extension, society — escape this patriarchal Wonderland? How can we reclaim our sense of self and stop living according to someone else’s rules? The journey back to self-discovery and empowerment isn’t easy, but it is possible.
1. Practice Mindful Awareness:
The first step toward escaping the rabbit hole is becoming aware of how deeply ingrained objectification is in your life. This means being mindful of how you view yourself and how you interact with the world around you. Do you measure your self-worth based on your appearance or how others perceive you? Are you performing for others, trying to live up to an image that’s not truly you?
Mindfulness practices can help you detach from these harmful thought patterns and reconnect with your authentic self. Meditation, journaling, or simply taking time to reflect on your feelings and experiences can help you uncover what you really want, rather than what others expect from you.
2. Reclaim Your Power and Voice:
One of the most powerful ways to escape objectification is to start asserting yourself — both in how you present yourself to the world and how you stand up for what you deserve. This might mean setting boundaries with people who try to objectify you, or rejecting societal beauty standards that don’t align with who you are. It also means speaking up for yourself in relationships and demanding respect, both for your mind and your body.
When Alice confronts the strange inhabitants of Wonderland, she starts to recognize that they are playing by a different set of rules, rules that don’t apply to her. Similarly, reclaiming your power means rejecting the rules of a patriarchal society that limits women to narrow roles. Stand up for yourself, trust your intuition, and don't be afraid to ask for what you need — whether it's respect, freedom, or authenticity.
3. Embrace Holistic Self-Love:
Self-love is a revolutionary act in a world that constantly tells women they are not enough. It’s important to embrace the idea that you are worthy of love and respect exactly as you are — not for how you look or how well you can please others, but for the essence of who you are. Engage in practices that nurture your body, mind, and spirit. Whether it’s through self-care rituals, fitness, creative expression, or spiritual practices like meditation or yoga, take time to connect with yourself in ways that empower you from the inside out.
4. Build Communities of Support:
Escape from the patriarchal rabbit hole is not a solitary journey. Surround yourself with supportive people who see you as you truly are, not as an object or a projection of society’s expectations. Communities that uplift women, encourage authenticity, and empower people to be their true selves are essential for breaking free from objectification.
Writing Your Own Story
Like Alice, women must confront the strange, limiting rules of a world that constantly tries to define them, reduce them, and objectify them. The patriarchal rabbit hole can feel deep and suffocating, but by reclaiming our sense of self, practicing mindfulness, and standing up for our true worth, we can begin to rewrite the narrative.
The journey out of Wonderland requires courage, self-awareness, and a commitment to authenticity. By learning to see ourselves as whole beings — beyond the surface, beyond objectification — we break free from the patriarchal framework that seeks to define us. We become the heroines of our own stories, powerful and unapologetic, carving out space for our voices, our bodies, and our minds.
In the end, Alice didn’t need to conform to the strange rules of Wonderland. Neither do you. The moment you stop performing for others and begin living for yourself, you start creating your own path. That is how you escape the rabbit hole and rediscover the magic of who you truly are.